Hedonisia Sex-Positive Communication

Guidelines for Free Speech Discussions on Sex Positive People

in our Politically Correct Culture

Any open discussion about sex and society will often bring up issues of race, culture, gender, orientation, and other ‘hot button’ issues. In a discussion group, we try to create a safe container for participants to feel comfortable enough to communicate freely with differing political views, religious beliefs, and sexual orientations.

We manage this discussion group under the following guidelines:

1. Personal Responsibility

sex positive communication

Sex Positive Communication

While a word or expression is offensive to one person that does not mean it is offensive to others of the same demographic. People can speak from their personal experience. However, it is important to make the distinction between taking personal offense and taking offense on behalf of a group. 'Trigger Words' are personal! Nobody can claim to be a ‘spokesperson’ for their demographic!

For example, Mojo, the founder of HedoFeminista, can speak AS an Indian male. However, he cannot speak FOR Indian males. If something offensive is said to him, he can respond and talk about his personal experience as an Indian male. However, he is not entitled to speak for his demographic. In other words, he takes personal responsibility for the fact that he is offended.

Most stereotypes, jokes, ignorant comments, and criticisms of my race were often just other people's attempts at trying to understand my people rather than an automatic indicator of prejudice. 

The advantage of taking personal responsibility when you are offended is that it allows you to tell a little bit why that word or phrase is hurtful to you. This is not accusatory as in "that's homophobic". And you are not lecturing or censoring them on what they can or cannot say in the future. You are simply saying why a particular word or phrase is hurtful to you.

When someone has personal responsibility for their being offended it is a different narrative based on subjectivity rather than the objective 'call-out" tone of Intersectionality. More often than not, this will engender a polite "I'm sorry" response than when someone feels they are being attacked as bigoted.

2. Personal Politeness

It is natural and polite to not say something that is personally offensive to another. That is the essence of living in a civilized society. Anyone is free to say what makes them feel personally uncomfortable. As a polite community of individuals, we adopt a policy of personal politeness and respect for individual feelings.

However, being polite does not mean that one needs to feel accused or censored. An offensive phrase to one person may not be so to another. For example, the word 'bitch' can be offensive to some women. However, to others it not. If a person is offended by that word, they can speak up about the fact that they are offended. Others, being polite might not use the word while that person is present. However, with other friends who do not feel so, they can use the word again without any feeling of guilt.

The subtle distinctions between politeness, personal responsibility and free speech allows a diverse group of participants to feel comfortable expressing themselves and sharing their views. Honest meaningful conversations can challenge our beliefs. In many cases, personal growth and development emerge from these free-flowing uncensored conversations.

Free Speech & Negative Intent

  1. Criticism. If a person criticizes some aspect of another’s demographic it can be deemed as prejudiced but is not necessarily so.
  2. Humor. If a person makes a joke at the expense of another demographic it can be deemed as prejudiced but is not necessarily so.
  3. Ignorance. If a person makes a comment that shows complete ignorance of another person’s demographic it can be deemed as prejudiced but is not necessarily so.
  4. Stereotypes. If a person describes a stereotype about another demographic, whether positive or negative, it can be deemed as prejudiced but is not necessarily so.

An important key that defines prejudice is negative intent. Of course, negative intent is hard to prove. However, as we get to know people we can easily ascertain their intent if they continue to make comments that are critical, joking, or show ignorance of a demographic group.

We try to create a safe space where participants can politely communicate freely without being attacked as prejudiced if they say a ‘trigger’ word or something which can be interpreted as a 'micro-aggression.'

Guidelines for Civilised yet Open Discussion

We live in a politically correct world that sometimes stifles honest conversation. And sex is one of the most politically incorrect subjects there is!

Our purpose is education and communication about the sensitive subject of sexuality. In order to do this we create a ‘safe container’ for open friendly discussions:

  • We respect this safe space for open discussion.
  • We engage in our right to free speech.
  • We agree to be polite and not tolerate hostile language or behavior.