Safe and Free Speech Communication Guidelines

Free Speech PRePP for Positive Sex Communication Guidelines

in our Politically Correct Culture

Any open discussion about sex and society will often bring up issues of race, culture, gender, orientation, and other ‘hot button’ issues. With Hedonisia communication guidelines we try to create a safe container for participants to feel comfortable enough to communicate freely with differing political views, religious beliefs, and sexual orientations.

These guidelines are not just for communication about sex. We believe these simple PRePP can allow people from different backgrounds to have open conversations about any subject with respect and politeness for individual sensibilities without a feeling of being judged or censored.

PRePP consists of two parts, personal responsibility and personal politeness.

1. Personal Responsibility

sex positive communication

Sex-Positive Communication

While a word or expression is offensive to one person that does not mean it is offensive to others of the same demographic. People can speak from their personal experience. However, it is important to make the distinction between taking personal offense and taking offense on behalf of a group. 'Trigger Words' and 'micro-aggressions' are personal. They are not objective truths. It is the height of entitlement for anyone to claim to be a ‘spokesperson’ for their demographic.

For example, Mojo, the founder of HedoFeminista, can speak from his experiences of life AS an Indian male. However, he cannot speak FOR Indian males. If something offensive is said to him, he can respond and talk about his personal experience as an Indian male. However, he is not entitled to speak for his demographic. In other words, he takes personal responsibility for the fact that he is offended.

Most stereotypes, jokes, ignorant comments, and criticisms of my race were often just other people's attempts at trying to understand my people rather than an automatic indicator of prejudice. 

The advantage of taking personal responsibility when you are offended is that it allows you to tell a little bit why that word or phrase is hurtful to you. You can share an anecdote or a personal experience. Anything to your comfort level.

A person can easily bow out of a conversation while assuring the other participants that while they have a right to free speech, you have a personal right to leave a discussion.

Showing that you are taking responsibility for being offended is not accusatory as in "that's homophobic" or "that's racist". You are not lecturing or censoring them on what they can or cannot say in the future. You are simply saying why a particular word or phrase is hurtful to you.

When someone takes personal responsibility for being offended there is a different narrative based on subjectivity rather than the objective 'call-out" tone of Intersectionality. More often than not, this will engender a polite "I'm sorry" response than when someone feels they are being attacked as bigoted.

2. Personal Politeness

It is natural and polite to not say something that is personally offensive to another. That is the essence of living in a civilized society. Anyone is free to say what makes them feel personally uncomfortable. As culture that strives to be a polite community of individuals, we adopt a policy of personal politeness and respect for individual feelings.

Being polite does not mean that one needs to feel accused or censored. An offensive phrase to one person may not be so to another. For example, the word 'bitch' can be offensive to some women. To others it is not. If someone is offended by that word, they can speak up about their personal offense giving as much personal reasoning as they feel comfortable with sharing. One woman might hate the word because it was what an abusive partner called her. Another person, of any gender, might love using the word as part of their erotic talk.

Once it is known that a word is personally offensive, most polite people would not use the word when in the presence of the offended person. However, when they are with other friends, they can use the word again without any feeling of guilt.

This is a much better outcome than feeling censored for ever using that word based on one person's offense.

The subtle distinctions between politeness, personal responsibility and free speech allows a diverse group of participants to feel comfortable expressing themselves and sharing their views. Honest meaningful conversations can challenge our beliefs. In many cases, personal growth and development emerge from these free-flowing uncensored conversations.

Free Speech & Negative Intent

Intersectionality, Micro-Aggressions or Trigger Words

  1. Stereotypes. If a person points out a stereotypical pattern of another’s demographic it can be deemed as prejudiced but is not necessarily so. (And what if a stereotype whether positive or negative, has merit? 
  2. Criticism. If a person criticizes some aspect of another’s demographic it can be deemed as prejudiced but is not necessarily so. (And what if there is some truth to the criticism? 
  3. Humor. If a person makes a joke at the expense of another’s demographic it can be deemed as prejudiced but is not necessarily so. (What about if the joke is really funny? 
  4. Ignorance. If a person makes a comment that shows complete ignorance of another’s demographic it can be deemed as prejudiced but is not necessarily so. (You would be surprised at how little people know about each other.

An important key that defines prejudice is negative intent. Of course, negative intent is hard to prove. However, as we get to know people we can easily ascertain their intent if they continue to make comments that are critical, joking, or show ignorance of a demographic group.

Guidelines for Civilised yet Open Discussion

We live in a politically correct world that sometimes stifles honest conversation. And sex is one of the most politically incorrect subjects there is!

Our purpose is education and communication about the sensitive subject of sexuality. In order to do this we create a ‘safe container’ for open friendly discussions:

  • We respect this safe space for open discussion.
  • We engage in our right to free speech while respecting individual sensitivities
  • We agree to be polite and not tolerate hostile language or behavior.

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