How it is: Sex & Parenthood:
Men losing custody. Dating single mothers. No children couples
How it has been: On Her Own: Single Motherhood The Struggling Single Mom
Because of the high rates of divorce and the horrors of child custody battles and alimony new forms of "family" are developing by default. For example Single Mothers. When most relationships break up today, the mother receives full custody of the children. What hardly existed two or three generations ago is now one of the more dominant forms of family with powerful effects on the mother, the father and the children.
Compare to Denmark where fathers automatically have shared custody unless there is a case of abuse.
How it could be: Single Mothers and The Goddess House: an evolving concept of "family" that is different from the nuclear or extended family
"I have a husband/wife/children but I want to be sexually liberated, adventurous and free. Is it possible or does family-life negate one’s sexuality?"
Rearing a family and living a sensual life are not necessarily contradictory ideals. There are many books out on the market promoting the idea of "hot monogamy". Indeed, some of the earliest sex manuals, the Kama Sutra and the Ananga Ranga were written for couples.
But much more awareness and energy has to be devoted to your sexuality if you want it to survive the pressures of family life. It is simple not as easy to make wild, spontaneous love when other duties beckon. Time must be set aside for one’s sensuality. And preferably space too
How it could be:
The Tantric Room
|A unique way to "program" a room for making love|
|For most of us, just to hear a certain song brings back a particular memory or feeling from an earlier time in our lives. Smells, songs, sounds, sights, tastes, places, even a single word can all act as a stimulus for memories, feelings and emotions that can go as far back as early childhood.These memory cues are very powerful and exist in all of us. Most occur in our everyday lives without us even being aware of them. However, they can also be programmed either by oneself or with the help of a psychologist or hypnotist. This programming process is called NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming.To see how NLP can be individually programmed try the following exercise: Over the next few weeks when you are either making love or masturbating, cross the fingers of your left hand. Try to do this a few times over the next few weeks. Make sure that you cross your fingers only during the peak moments of your pleasure. And always cross them in exactly the same way. Then, remember to uncross your fingers once your pleasure is over.Now, after doing this a few times over a period of days or weeks pick a neutral place, for example at the office, in a supermarket checkout line, or in a library and then cross the fingers of your left hand in exactly the same way as you did during your pleasure peaks.Wow! Bang! and Presto! If done correctly, you should suddenly feel a small surge of orgasmic feelings washing over you just as you did during your actual pleasure peaks. Of course, it might not be a surge it might be just the memory of the last time you made love or masturbated. But at least some of your pleasurable feelings should come back to you.|
|Which brings us to the TANTRIC ROOM. The Tantric Room is, quite simply, a room programmed for love. By dedicating a room in your house solely for lovemaking you are, in effect, "programming" that room so that, just by entering it, sensual feelings should start to arise in you.Your bedroom can be a Tantric Room because that is where most couples tend to make love. However, because you do other activities in the bedroom, like reading, watching TV and so on then that tends to dilute the programming effect. Better to have one private room in your house exclusively for love. It would be a good idea to have an internal and external lock to this room so that others do not accidentally walk in. Also by keeping that room completely secure and private it gives you the complete freedom to decorate the room exactly as you want.|
|Here is a suggested list of items you and your partner might like to have in your Tantric Room:|
A Tantric Room is especially suited for those who lead busy, stressful lives or for those who have children. By creating a sensual sanctuary against the chaos of this world you should find it easier to unwind and thus be more in the mood for love . . .
How it could be:
In Denmark men have two forms of rights which makes them better fathers. They get paid paternity leave and they are legally entitled to share in the bringing up of their child after a divorce or break up. It is simply amazing to see guys pushing baby carriages all over the main capital city of Copenhagen with nary a woman in sight!
Child Free Couples: I love to make love but I don't want to have children. Is something wrong with me?
Children have been described as the ultimate sexual suppressant. Many women (and men!) report loss of sexual desire once children enter the picture. Aside from the physical changes (weight gain, stretch marks and so on), there is now a new being who is totally selfish in demanding a parent's time and energy. That new being does not care what your feelings are. They just want to have their needs satisfied. For at least eighteen years!
How many times on this planet has a man woken up with a raging hard penis. His wife lies beside him. He reaches across to her. She looks deeply into his eyes and smiles. His fingers lovingly caress her body. They creep slowly downwards. Her smile deepens. She begins to pull him towards her. He is at the gate, aching to be inside. Her legs part, inviting him in. He is just about to enter . . . . And then the kids burst in the bedroom, "Mummy, I'm hungry!!!"
The penis softens; the moment is gone . . . .
In this over populated world it makes sense to not have any children. Or at least to have them much later in life. Technology makes it possible for women to give birth in their fifties. So why not wait.
Sex has been viewed primarily as a procreational activity for thousands of years. As a result, we have an overcrowded planet with more babies being born every minute. It is time to separate recreational sex from procreational sex. This has happened for the most part in the liberal democracies of the West. But not in the so-called countries of the Third World where population growth is greatest.
Most cultures in the world are based on "family values". Thus those who do not want to have children are seen as "abnormal". After all, that is what most societies have trained you to do: Get a job, get married, have children.
Slowly it is becoming more acceptable to be childless especially in the West. But in the countries of the Third World the old mind set is still there.
Most cultures would have us believe that a life without children is barren, lonely and selfish. On the contrary, there is great financial and personal freedom that comes from not having children. Freedom to fully explore your potential. And the freedom to make love for hours without any guilt or worries!
I am a former Muslim. Had I stayed in this religion I would now be married with at least a few children. I look at the members of my extended family and that is the life they are living. When I meet them they are harried and stressed. Too many bills to pay; too many things to do; not enough time. They are like hamsters chained to a treadmill.
And yet, they pressure me constantly to marry and "settle down". The only way they can justify their misery is if everyone else is doing the same thing. My own mother calls me "satan" for living the life I lead.
So I understand the pressure. But I'm simply having too much fun to add more mouths to feed in this already hungry planet.
If you are interested in a child-free existence or at least in having less children then you have to know about birth control. An authorative site on birth control is Ann Rose's Ultimate Birth control links